Categories
Decision Mediation

Same Sex: Who Will Bear Our First Child?

Will Liz or Leslie be their Prospective Baby’s Birth Mother? Liz and Leslie made a series of appointments for marriage mediation. They had been a couple for seven years and married for two of those years. They had decided that their careers, finances and home were in place and stable enough to have their first…

Categories
Couples Therapy

Twenty Ways to Romance Your Relationship

Whether you are beginning a friendship,  a prospective relationship or you’re in a relationship that is becoming oh so stale, these twenty ways to introduce and keep romance in your relationship are bound to help. Let’s begin with the story of a couple in Havana, Cuba, with whom I was staying in an Airbnb type…

Categories
Divorce Mediation

Collaborative Divorce Mediation

Eliza and Karl came in this summer for collaborative divorce mediation. They were one of the most cooperative couples presenting for mediation in my thirty-eight years of mediation practice. They had sold their marital home in the Boston suburbs in the last few months and deposited the balance in a “joint child-related expense account” checking…

Categories
Marriage Counseling

Another Child Changes to Do We Vacation?

Changing the Goal in Marriage Counseling From “Do We Have Another Child” to “Where Do We Go on Vacation?” in Decision Mediation Laura and Caleb were a bright and thoughtful couple in their late 30s and early 40s. They were established in their careers, she as a radiologist and he as an environmental field engineer.…

Categories
Divorce Mediation

Divorce Mediation: Are You Ready?

Colleagues and friends frequently ask me “your work must be so hard with all those angry divorcing clients?” To tell the truth, most divorcing clients are gracious to one another, thoughtful, ready to problem-solve, frequently laughing together. Often enough, when this is not the case, a couple presents before they are prepared to divorce. Let’s…

Categories
Divorce Mediation

Todd Wants a Fair Division of Assets

Kristina and Todd came into the office after the holidays ready for divorce mediation Lexington Ma. Now in their mid- 50s, they had met at the University of Virginia’s lovely campus, in the Thomas Jefferson library, when they bumped into each other as they rounded the bookshelves. They  became fast friends and decided to get married…

Categories
Divorce Mediation

Talking to Children about Divorce

Talking to children about divorce carefully and gently is critical.  It helps to find a quiet time and place, maybe after dinner, in the play yard when the children are fairly calm. The parent who is ahead of the other in the process may begin to speak first. One of two longest established, most respected…

Categories
Couples Therapy

Therapy Reveals ADHD Surprise

Mark and Marissa came into Couples Therapy in Lexington, Ma. when their twin daughters Jodie and Andrea were 7 years old. Mark was the director of a NGO and Marissa, a free lance writer and photographer, working very part-time while being with the children. The girls were super active; it might even be said that…

Categories
Decision Mediation

After an Affair: Experts Advise

Adriana and Peter Gordon had been married 9 years, and were still living together when Adriana, who had discovered her husband’s affair with his secretary, appeared in a lawyer’s office to discuss the possibility of divorce. After finding a room-service-for-two charge on Peter’s hotel bill, he admitted that he had been having a hidden affair with…

Categories
Decision Mediation

Defining Goals for Marital Separation

Sophie and Seth were not an ordinary couple, nor were they business executives or international diplomats, those people who often use decision-making mediation. They were extremely conscientious, dedicated parents, who were involved in their church, and in an “ethical humanist” society, where they met at Boston University. The couple sensed and then learned for certain…