Divorce Mediation Mediation Education Uncategorized

One Advantage of Non-Deductible Alimony

One Advantage of Non-Tax-Deductible Alimony For years the ability to deduct alimony payments by a payor to a recipient was a distinct help for American families. Not having to pay income taxes on the payments supporting an ex-spouse tremendously helped especially lower and middle-income families. After President Trump took away this advantage, alimony became a…


Garden Variety or Debilitating ~ Dealing with Anxiety

What to do About Anxiety~ Garden Variety or Debilitating FIRST, Anxiety is future-oriented. It is not Living IN THE PRESENT. You may be thinking “I am WORRIED about X”. Now, breathe in that anxiety, that physiological/body place. You should now be with the present “feeling”. The emotions are right there under the anxiety. RIGHT THERE.…


Love and Desire are Two Different Things ~ Reasons for Affairs

Notes from Love and Desire-

Esther Perel, modified by Janet Wiseman
Please see her YouTubes e.g.
“Mating in Captivity”
Love and desire are different.
Love, you have. Desire you want.

Responsibility and desire butt heads.

You want her when she is away, radiant, confident, self-sustaining, attractive.

When you look at her from a distance, she is mysterious and desirable.

The erotic mind is not very politically correct.

Couples need SEPARATION and they need CONNECTION.

YOU NEED TO STAY YOURSELF..your true relationships. Your true self fits you like a perfectly fitting jacket. “Dude, Goddess, this is YOU.”

People need a lot of erotic privacy.

Affairs are:
• Secretive
• Emotional connection
• Physical alchemy
• An expression of longing and
for love
• Sexual connection is intense
and there is VITALITY to the
• Seeking the gaze of another is
seeking for our gaze at our
“wonderful, sexy selves”
• Provide feelings of aliveness.
May compensate for recent
losses or the contemplation of
our mortality
• May attempt to beat back
“deadness”; an antidote to
• About desire, to feel important.
To have what you can’t have.
• Puts verve, imagination back
into your life

Back into your old life:

Betrayal of an affair can be healed.

Fear of loss of partner can rekindle desire. “Hysterical Attractions” = fear of loss desire.

Person who has had the affair expresses reasons for wrong-doing, remorse or guilt. What did the affair mean to you? What was its actual value?

Every affair will redefine the relationship.


Our Four-Year-Old is Our First Priority

Meriam and Ted were concerned that their marital separation and divorce would devastate four-year-old, Anjie. With careful planning that did not happen! Not even close. Meriam’s workday being longer than Ted’s, he picks Anjie up from pre-school, spending time with her at Meriam and Anjie’s home until Meriam arrives home from work. Occasionally they have…


Services available in all Languages

Mediation and Counseling Services are available in all languages. “How can that be?” you ask. One client brought her adult daughter to divorce mediation who translated the process into Mandarin. Another client, from Hungary, brought his close friend and colleague into estate mediation to translate. He signed a confidentiality agreement.That turned out to almost be…